Things to Think About if Your Kids Go Off in the Woods By Themselves

If you've been following the goat saga you know Malia's been anxious to take the baby goats for a walk through the woods to the creek.   We used to do it with our big goats and it was always fun.

I was in the middle of a project so she headed off without me.  About an hour after she left she came in and said she thought she had hurt her arm falling on a log.  She's never been a whiny kid about a scrape or a cut so I knew if she said she was hurt she was hurt.   The arm was swelling so to the ER we went.   Broken in 2 places.

I am not one to be afraid to let her go off to explore on her own within a certain distance from the house.   I think we live in a safe place and although anything could happen more than likely she's safe in the woods behind our house.  At least from human predators.    Snake bites and falls are another matter entirely.

I have a 3 rules about her going off by herself in the woods and I think they worth sharing.

1.   Wear boots.   If she wants to take flip- flops for when she gets to the creek, fine but we've seen more than a few copperheads and high rubber boots like English Wellies are fine.  She has an adorable pair of black boots with neon polka dots we got at Tractor Supply.  She wears them many times with a denim skirt when we go to town because they're cute.   With girls, not ugly, can be a biggie.

2.  Take a 2 way radio with you.   They can be bought pretty inexpensively today.   I think we paid about $30 for ours.  Amazon is my go-to place for checking ratings on things like that so I can buy inexpensively and have what I need and still get a decent product.

3.   Use something for bug protection.   We've been using the Cutter product that is a combination of Avons Skin So Soft plus some deet.   There is so much West Nile Virus in some places it's prudent to use something if you are off in an area that is sure to loaded with mosquitos.

Parenting today is hard.  "Don't be a helicopter parent but be involved".  "Let them make their own decisions; just be there to guide".  "Natural consequences are best".

It's hard to know when and where to make a stand sometimes but these are my rules for the woods.   The little girl down the lane doesn't have to wear boots in the woods but Malia' does.   Oh well.

Today could have been worse, much worse but she had a way to reach me even from a 1/2 mile away.  We never think these things will really happen, but they do.  And if you live near woods you know voices don't carry as well as you might think.

 In fact, she didn't call me.   She came home and penned up the goats before coming in the house to tell me.  Not a tear one.  An apology for making me have to take her to the ER.   I wished she had called me but I was so proud of her.  She's so level headed and she was anything but dramatic about it.   Still, had it been a leg and she couldn't get herself home she had the means to reach me.   And I am even more grateful we have the rules in place that we do.  We just never ever know.

Tomorrow we call the hand / arm specialist and she gets to go to school with a story to tell all the kids.

Elizabeth

It's Raining!

 

We are having a wonderfully rainy day today.  I love days that are just a steady rain all day.  No       lightening or thunder or pelting rain that just washes away topsoil and is over too fast for it to really sink deep into the soil where it's so desperately needed.  Just slow steady rain.  I love them not just because of the obvious need for rain but also for the opportunity to spend a day playing catch-up inside.  I always have the urge to make soup on days like this.   Rainy days are comforting days for me.   

Later,  I am planning a trip to the local garden center followed by an evening of cooking and working on journals.  I will take my umbrella and know even for a Sat. I will have the place pretty much to myself because most people won't come on a rainy day.

Elizabeth

Ps

As you may or may not have noticed, I have missed the last 2 frugal Fridays posts.  I seem to have developed a mental block about this so am scrapping it in favor of just posting something frugal when it hits me.  I have never been good at boxing myself into something like that but felt the need to try one more time and hence, prove to myself I am still not good at it. 

Seniors ~ or ~ Such a Sad Day

This is a completely off topic post but it feels important and it's something that may touch each of you at some point and I hope by sharing you'll see it sooner than I did.  

I was I've mentioned before that I have a small rental property in town that I go in and mow.   I am very fortunate that all my tenants in this building are long term.  One has been there 32 yrs. if you can believe it.  All have always paid their rent on time and even mail it to me so I don't have to drive to town to get it.  When I go there to mow I exchange pleasantries but have never become friends with any of the tenants.

In May for the first time ever one of my tenants, a 69 yr. old woman,  I'm going to call Mary,  didn't send her rent.   I tried to call her but she's more than a little deaf and it was an exercise in futility.  I wasn't too concerned.  I knew she had a younger sister that has helped her out over the years and figured it would get worked out.

Then June rolled around and again, no rent. Now 2 months behind, she's got my attention.  I drove in to speak to her to find out what was going on.   I thought she would talk to her sister and get her to help but it turned out her sister had died.  She told me she had a nurse coming in now and the nurse was helping her pay her bills.  I thought that was good and that things would soon get straightened out.  I agreed to a payment plan and thought we were good.   The nurse called to let me know she had sent out one months rent.  Great.   It bounced.   My bank collected it eventually but I was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

The next time I mowed Mary was outside with another tenant and she was holding a loaf of bread.   She told me the other tenant gave it to her because she had no food.  I asked again what was going on and she said the nurse had her money all messed up.  She also said it was my fault because I didn't cash the check on time and it was the banks fault for taking her money because it wasn't there anymore.    I wasn't sure if it was senility or nervous chatter  because she was embarrassed about the rent.   I told her the bank wasn't taking her money and it wasn't my fault either.   The other tenant piped in about how she shouldn't be giving her check to the nurse to pay her bills either.   For the first time I realized Mary wasn't handling her own money.  I told her she should be careful and pay her bills herself.  And, I added to get rid of the nurse if she thought the nurse was messing with her money.  She said she was going to fire her and request another nurse.

The next time I saw her she told me she couldn't pay me any more period.  She had no money and there was nothing she could do about it.    I got annoyed and said this was ridiculous.  "I don't want to deal with this and you need to do something or your going to be evicted".  I'm pretty sure those were my words.  Then I left. I knew she had fewer bills because she couldn't drive anymore so her car was gone.  She couldn't get out to shop anymore.   Her income was the same.  This was making no sense.

 True to her word no rent came again this month.  She was saying she had no food, no money and couldn't even pay her bills herself.   I honestly didn't believe any of it.   She's 69, not 89 but still...  On the 6th I called and started to leave a message saying I was going to call adult protective services.   The nurse picked up the phone and said she felt really bad about all this and if I would wait she would pay it herself out of her own pocket.   But could I do her a little favor and just give her till September 15 before I made that call to protective services?  At that moment my intuition kicked in and I knew something really was very wrong although I wasn't sure exactly what yet.   I said no, I wouldn't wait.   I called another tenant and asked if she knew what was going on.   She told me the nurse had moved in with Mary.  I then remembered the nurse telling me in the beginning of our conversation that she had paid all the bills this month but all had bounced.  I hadn't gotten paid so what was she talking about. And Mary's check came on the 1st and it was only the 6th.   I had a sick feeling about it all.  I went ahead and called adult protective services and left a message.   Then I googled scams and the elderly.  Wow.  Elder exploitation is what financial abuse is called and it's a felony by the way.

I woke early this morning thinking about it all and drove over to the apartment.   The nurses car was there at 6:30am.   I waited till 7:30 to see if she left for the other job she said she had but she didn't leave.   I finally knocked on the door and after 10 minutes got them to open it.   I told them I wasn't going to let this go and we were going to talk.   I wasn't leaving until I knew what was going on.  I said it wasn't even about the rent, but something wasn't right and I was going to find out what or the police would.   The nurse left.

After she left the tenant handed me a huge pile of overdraft notices and said this was why she had no money anymore.  I knew she didn't write her own checks and was just signing them.  She said she still didn't understand how this had happened.  I asked if she would show me her checking account.  She did.  Clearly the nurse wasn't balancing the checkbook.  The nurse had been writing checks and a lot of them without caring if there was any money or not in the account.   I asked Mary where the nurse came from and she gave me a letter from her doctor ordering a nurse for her.    I asked why she was living there when she was only suppose to be there a few hours a day and she said she really didn't know.   I knew she meant it.   I realized then just how confused she really was.  I was beginning to feel like someone was playing ping pong with my head.   Each new revelation was like getting hit again.

I spent 3 hours there going through her bills and checking account and all the overdraft notices.   Her overdraft fee's alone for July were 2/3 of her total income for the month.   Every bill was at least 2 months behind.  Her utilities were 3 months behind.    I called her doctors office and told them they needed to get the nurse out of there - now.   As I spoke to all the different people involved,  I could hear the shock and sadness in their voices.   None of us had really known and we were all horrified, as much from our unawareness of what was going on as from the situation itself.   The nurse at the doctors office, the social worker and the adult protective services worker who had been involved with Mary before.   And everyone was scrambling to find out where the nurse had come from.  Adult protective services said they thought she may have hired the nurse herself.  I asked how this was possible.   If she's mentally incapacitated how could she be expected to make a decision about who to hire?  

I also called the bank and tried to get some of the fee's waived in light of the situation and they agreed to try and said a letter from protective services would allow them to reduce them even more.  They told me about even more fees she owed.

Before I left  I told Mary she was getting a social worker and the bank may be willing to forgive some of the fees.  I could see the relief on her face and realized how horrid this had been for her.  It was one of the saddest moments I've ever experienced.   I also talked to some of the other tenants that had seen this unfolding.   One had played super sleuth the night before and gotten the nurses full name for me off a prescription bottle in her car by peeking through the window.   It was a good thing too since no one seemed to know who she was or where she had come from.

In the end we all wondered how did we not see this.   I know it seems like we should have seen it sooner but it's amazing how we all missed it.  The doctor and the staff there.  The other tenants.   Me. We don't look too closely sometimes.   It's none of our business or it's not our problem.  We really don't want to see sometimes.  And that's how it happens.  That's how these things happen right under our noses.   Elder abuse, especially financial elder abuse is on the rise.  And this particular kind of abuse is not like the scams we hear about perpetrated by strangers.   Often times it's by a family member, many times by paid caregivers or someone the elder trusts and thinks of as a friend.   It's a crime and not that many of us are aware of it yet.   Someday it will be like child abuse and everyone will know but as a society we aren't there yet.

I know for me I won't soon forget the vulnerability I saw today on Mary's face and I can only imagine how frightening this had to have been for her.   She knew she was in a mess with no way out and to be in that predicament and not be able to figure out how you got there and without anyone to help you...it's truly unimaginable to me.   

Elizabeth

It's a different kind of life

Sweet Potato Pie's with Streusel Topping

I've been busy baking the past few days.    So far I've made and frozen dough for 18 pizza's, baked  and frozen 8 loaves of  bread, a cake, a few pies, and  frosting enough for a few more cakes or  many many cupcakes.  That was all there was room for in the freezer.   While all that dough was rising and things were baking in the oven I was spring cleaning.  I cleaned every closet, cupboard and shelf in this house.  I got rid of much and reorganized and cleaned what was left.     All the while thinking it had to be done now because if it was put off until spring when everyone else does theirs,  it wouldn't get done.  Spring is about outdoors, gardens and baby animals here.   No time to be inside cleaning a house.   And this whole exercise got me to thinking about how different our lives and calendars are as homesteaders, from those around us that still do spring cleaning in the spring.

A few weeks ago, someone in my family asked me why it's been so long since I visited them 1500 miles away and I realized how different our lifestyles and schedules are from many of those around us including our families.  In many cases it's even different from what we, ourselves have lived  before getting into homesteading.  For many years, I had a job in a large city with a 3 week vacation each and every year, 2 days off a week in the fall and winter and at least one day off in spring and summer...being a horticulturist had it's own set of demands.  When I didn't have to be at my job I could go out in the evening shopping,  to dinner and a movie or on weekends I could go off camping or skiing, spend the night and think nothing of it as long as I was back in time for work on Monday.   Now I'm lucky to fit a trip to town for necessities into my schedule a few times a month and the place I visit the most frequently is the feed store with a quick stop at Lowe's on the way back only because I go right by it.   

When I lived my other, more conventional life,  I too probably would have had difficulty understanding the complexities of a homesteading lifestyle.   And perhaps if I had understood how different everything would be I wouldn't have jumped into it with both feet the way I did.   I may have decided the price was too high; no time for idleness anymore, no time for things that used to be important to me, no time period.   Now, every moment demanding attention in one way or another.   Homesteaders, right after mothers, must have been the original multitaskers, long before it was a trendy word with the mantra being "so much to do and so little time.

Still,  most days I love it and wouldn't consider going back to the other way of life.   I love how the busyness seems so purposeful.   I love the animals that tie me here every day.  I love that it's all connected, nature, the land, the food we eat, the animals we raise.   I love the values it's teaching the 10 year old that shares this life with me.   And I hope when she is older she will look back and love that she got the opportunity to experience this life, whether she decides  to stay on this path or move to another more conventional one.

Elizabeth

My Gratitude List

I'm grateful for all the people in my life.

I'm grateful to have a warm home with a full freezer and cupboards.

I'm grateful I'm able to live the life I have chosen in a country that supports my freedoms and rights.

I'm grateful for the occasional adversity because it makes me stronger and also allows me to see how blessed my life really is and has been.

I'm grateful I no longer feel the need for the trappings that were so alluring when I was younger.

I'm grateful that as I've gotten older I've learned to listen to and trust myself and my decisions.

I am grateful I've had a better life than my parents had and my children can have a better life than I've had.

I'm grateful for this holiday that gives me the opportunity to slow down  from my busy life of homesteading long enough to reflect on how much I truly have to be thankful for each and every day of the year.

I wish all of you the very happiest of Thanksgiving's and thank you for each and all of your visits here.  They keep me coming back.

Elizabeth

Why do we do what we do?

Our boots, always at ready by the door.

The past couple of weeks I've found myself asking "why I am homesteading".  Why am I caring for all these animals when it would be far easier and truthfully far less expensive to go to the grocery store and buy my dairy products, eggs and meat.  And the same goes for having a large vegetable garden.  What an immense amount of work without guaranteed results. Diseases and insects see to that.  In all truthfulness, I can totally understand why today, for the first time in history, more people live in cities than in the country and why there are so few farmers left.  Quite simply -  it's a ton of work.  And it's work most of us don't need to do in order to survive in this world of Walmart's and Sam's Clubs.  So why am I doing this?

I've been asking myself that a lot here lately.  I've finally got my little place in the country, acquired the animals (driving all the way from Virginia to Tennessee in one case for just the right animal ) and worked at the skills to care for them properly.  I've done all the backbreaking work to start the gardens and make them productive.   Yet, this past couple of weeks I've considered selling all the animals including the goats I so dearly love. The gardens have lost their appeal to me and have felt more like a burden than a blessing.  And I've not even been able to bring myself to post on the blog I've so enjoy writing.

All of us that choose this life do it for different reasons.  Some for survival, some for the ethical and humane treatment of the animal we use for food, some for the health benefits of knowing where our food comes from, some for the health of the planet and some for all of the above.  For me and many others it is also about family.   I do it for most of the above but much of my motivation is about family.   And about the values it instills.

Right now family is just Malia, 10, and I.   I've home schooled her for years and 2 weeks ago she started public school again.   She missed kids and was getting bored here and starting to hate it all.   I made the decision to let her go back against all my fears.  Fears of malls becoming more important than the local Tractor Supply Store with it's aisle of farm books she had so loved.  Fears of clothing becoming more important than the person wearing them.   Fear of Steak-um's from the school cafeteria becoming more desirable than healthy foods.  Fear that the other kids mothers who wore the latest fashions with matching nail polish with every hair in place and drove clean and shiny mini vans would seem more to her liking than me.  After all my outfits never match, my hair is always in a ponytail with stray hair everywhere and our vehicle looks every bit the farm vehicle it is.  The fears were many.   And giving all my fears credence was the fact that she had  declared even before her first school bus ride that she wasn't sure she wanted  Basil, Rosemary & Thyme, her 3 beloved pigs, anymore and thought maybe I should look for a new home for them as well while I was selling the piglets.

So for 2 weeks while she was at school I did it all and wondered why.  We are lucky; we don't need to do this for survival.  It's a choice for us.  So was I making the right choice?  This lifestyle requires a huge amount of time each day and was this how I wanted to spend my time?  After all, time is a currency even more precious than dollars and should  always be spent wisely for once spent it's gone forever. 

I finally came to a decision.   I decided that yes, I wanted to do this regardless of her involvement.  Maybe I would scale it down a notch or two.  It is a lot for one person to do alone.  Maybe her pigs would go but my beloved goats would stay.   Perhaps the garden would be a tad smaller next year and maybe all our bread didn't need to be homemade after all.  Maybe instead of the eco friendly push mower I would invest in a gas powered mower.  There were many small changes that could be made rather than giving up the whole dream.  It didn't need to be all or nothing.

So with that resolve and my couple of weeks of doubt and depression behind me Malia and I headed to the local Tractor Supply Store yesterday where she announced she had changed her mind and definetely did not want me to sell her pigs.  I, with a smile in my heart, asked if she was sure.  She was.  It seems we both learned something these past weeks.